The long overdue Love Smack writeup!

27 02 2010

Eccles Cake!!In the great tradition of tardy Rollerbillies writeups, here’s the skinny on Love Smack. To kick it off, we are properly jealous of the Bombers‘ venue – a little bit chilly in February, but super spacious. There was even room for a romantic valentines balloon arch and a camper van. And all that space meant we had a wide selection of merch vendors to tempt us – including the all important cupcake stand. And not only cupcakes – bacon butties, eccles cakes, and a nice cup of tea. Oh yes, eccles cakes. Are we doing the roller derby workout challenge diet and eating cheese for breakfast? Uh, no. We’re growing enormous asses made of lard and raisins.

Bout one: Team White vs Team Black:

Lil Mischief jammingTwo B teams made up of women from teams all over the country. You could feel the excitement in the air as many of the skaters hit the track (sometimes literally) for the first time. All that training, all the hard work, and so much commitment, finally finding its expression in a momentous sweaty blur.

Having never skated together before, both sides spent the first half finding their feet, and often finding their way to the penalty box, but by half time both teams were beginning to gel. The second half began with Team Black in possession of a 24 point lead, and Team White took to the track determined to close the gap. The pace increased as the period progressed, and a combination of solid three player defensive walls and a couple of textbook jams by Team White took them to within 4 points of equalising. Team Black were forced to play hard to retain their lead, and it all got a bit exciting and shouty, but ultimately the women in Black kept it together and finished on 155 points to team White’s 145.

Bout two: Lincolnshire Bombers vs Central City: The Belles of Centrinnians made an impressive start, consistently taking lead and picking up 40 points to the Bombers’ 7 in the first eight jams. CCR’s jamming triangle of death, Hustle’her, Block Star, and Billie Whizz sliced past the Bombers’ front wall, whilst their blockers dominated in the pack and Tragic visited her wrath on the opposing jammers. The Bombers began to get into their stride as the first half progressed, picking up lead jammer with more frequency, but in the face of such assertive play they were stuck playing CCR’s game and finished the period with 30 points to the Centrinnians’ 65.

CCR v LBRG by In Depth Photos

But it’s always a different game in the second half and the Bombers came back on determined to set their own agenda. Ce Cee Slam’er, Inya Head and Minx a’matosis showed steely determination to grab lead, and with their blockers upping the energy on their hits they started raking some points back. But the Centrinnians’ jammers were tough to contain and shot out of the pack right behind the Bombers’, scoring hard on their heels and nomming into their points differential. It was a hard and pacey second period with much more competitive game play, but the Centrinnians  had a selection of tricks up their armsocks, and maintained their cool and their advantage, ending the game with 130 to the hosts’ 79.


“Yes, but how did the girls feel about it?!”, I hear you exclaim. Well, you’re in luck because The Romsey Town Rollerbillies own Lil Mischief, Dusti Knuckles, and Phoenix in Flames skated their stripey little socks off in the first bout, and are here to bring you the action in their own words. Over to you girls…

Lil Mischief #16

“I was excited to be playing with people I’d never met before. I was also nervous about it. I worried I’d be the worst on the team and let everyone down and I worried it would be hard to get us working as a team as we wouldn’t know each other’s skate styles and strategies. The warm up was really fun and helped us get to know each other, and get a chance to try stuff out on the track. It was a pretty reasonable surface but for some reason plough stops were really tricky. Everyone was lovely – really friendly and a great laugh. It made me feel so much better.

I was still nervous as hell when the bout started. We had our skate out and I nearly forgot to wave when my name got called. At least I didn’t fall over! As I watched the first jam the excitement overtook the nerves and I couldn’t wait to get out on the track. My legs were shaking on my first lineup but I as fine once I started skating. I don’t remember much about the game – it all went so fast! At first it was hard to keep our defense together and get everyone working as a team. We were having difficulty walling up and defending and Team Black seemed to get it together really fast and soon took the lead. But as we played together we started working as a team more. By the second half we were playing much better and were narrowing the gap in the scores. We were jamming smarter and blocking better. I loved every minute! Couldn’t believe it when the final whistle blew – wish we could have had a few more minutes!”

Phoenix in Flames #177
“I was SO nervous but was lucky enough to have Dusti by my side as a team-mate and that was really reassuring. I had met a few of the girls on both teams a few weeks before, at Rainy City’s bootcamp and knowing what I was coming up against helped relieve a LOT of the anxieties I had about my own skating ability. Team Black managed to get to know a bit about each other via a Facebook group – this really helped on the day & I think contributed a lot to the team working well together.

Dusti and I lined up together on the first jam; by that point the anxieties had melted away and I was really raring to go!! I could see my family and RTRB team-mates on the front row cheering us on and desperately wanted to do them proud! The bout went by in a blur and I have NO idea how well I played, although found out that I should definitely not try jamming. Ever. What a disaster! But Dusti and I must have done something right as we played nearly every other jam and it felt amazing to work well with skaters I hardly knew. We tried really hard as a team to get the opportunity to push ourselves and try different positions and that worked really well. The two teams were put together well and we were pretty evenly matched – we had to work really hard to get our win!

The re-match (hopefully it’ll happen!) will be epic – Team White will out to prove they’re the queens of the track and we’ll be fighting so hard to keep our title! I have to say a HUGE thank you to Alma Geddon who was a brilliant captain and an even bigger thank you to all of LBRG who put this together for us – what an amazing opportunity it was for new skaters & a huge contribution to the UK derby scene!”

If you’re not already in the derby community, dear readers, this could be you! So far, the Rollerbillies have played one bout against Glasglow B, and our players have skated in our mixed side, Team East Angrier, against Stuttgart Valley Rollergirls and London Rollergirls. We’ve also guest skated for Central City and Bedfordshire Rollergirls, so we’ve got a mix of experience in the team. We’re always looking for new skaters and we’re committed to training them up right and giving them the opportunity to compete. There’s a bout out there for everyone, so what are you waiting for – come and check derby out for yourselves. Hit the I want in! page above to find out how.

Thanks again to the Bombers for a great event, and for inviting our lovely Quad Ophelia to be your lineup manager. We’re really sorry we got the writeup out so late. Photo credits: Jason Ruffel (1), In Depth Photos (2, 3, 4, 7, 8 ) Hannah ‘H’annihilation‘ Edmonds (5), Daz Wilson (6), and Adam Rhoades (9, 10).

Raarrr, Roller derby!


One sleep til Love Smack!

12 02 2010

Tomorrow is bout day! It’s time for Love Smack: another intense double header hosted by the Lincolnshire Bombers Rollergirls!

The first game will feature two B teams made up of women from eight different UK leagues (including the Rollerbillies!) and the second game will be the sartorially splendid Bombers versus the multitudinous might of Birmingham’s Central City Rollergirls. This is the second time LBRG have put on a mixed team event – the first showcasing not only some excellent women’s derby, but also featuring the first ever UK men’s derby bout – so this event promises to be a second feast of derby goodness.

The Rollerbillies’ Dusti Knuckles, Phoenix in Flames, and Lil Mischief will be pitted against each other – Dusti and Phoenix on Team Black and Mischief on Team White, so.. GO EVERYONE! This is an exciting opportunity to see newer skaters getting their bout on, as well as another awesome instance of teams working together to build the UK derby community – what more could you want on a Saturday?

Our own Quad Ophelia is lineup managing the Bombers, so she’s been checking out their super skills at practice. Central City scored a nail biting victory against Leeds Roller Dolls only two weeks ago, so we think this is going to be a killer game. Only one sleep to go!

So get yourself down to the Newark Showground tomorrow and do some shouting with us! Or if you’re of a more Northerly persuasion, why not head over to Meadowbank Stadium in Edinburgh to see the Auld Reekie Rollergirls take on Leeds? Or if you’re in Glasgow, check out Glasgow Rollergirls up against the London Rockin Rollers? These days we’ve got derby everywhere so there’s no reason to stay in watching Saturday Kitchen.

Good luck to everyone skating this weekend, especially to those taking to the track for the first time – we’ll be rooting for you! May your wheels be swift and sufficiently grippy, your blocks devastatingly well timed, and your injuries minor.

Get Angrier!

20 06 2009

Cast your mind back to March: it was cold, and summer was ages away. The Rollerbillies were debating whether or not to field a team for Roll Britannia. Just when we’d figured we wouldn’t have enough skaters for a roster, the pub lit up with golden lightening and our fairy godmother appeared. “Oh Rollerbillies,” she said, “you shall go to the Tournament!” Golden sparkles filled the air and five skaters appeared. “Behold!” said She-ra, “from the distant kingdom of Bedford, the Brawlin’ Angels Rollergirls will aid you in your quest – and with your forces combined, you will be TEAM EAST ANGRIER!”

“Awesome!” we replied, “but what will we wear?”

“White and gold works for me”, said She Ra, “but you know what, I think some leopard print spandex would really complete the look.”

Such a vision! Our eyes glazed over with rapture as She Ra mounted Swift Wind, and the pub was filled with white light and swirly gold special effects. “You have the power!” she cried, and was gone.

And so it was that Team East Angrier entered Roll Britannia. Inspired by the awesomeness of our new team mates and bestowed with She Ra’s magical powers, we have developed super human strength, acquired catlike agility – and achieved dazzling styling sophistication. We’re ready! Really! Can’t wait! Rarrr!

TEA1 gold small

team bw

Want some glitter in your bearings?

5 01 2009

We decided we’d see the new year in with some new challenges. We were invited to Salon Rouge as part of their splendid hospitality team, so the challenges were… make costumes to wear, make badges with Mollie’s new badge making machine (yay!), ice cupcakes, make cute little trays for the cupcakes, wear false eyelashes (surely gluing things to your eyes is wrong?), and get us, all our supplies, and four dozen freshly iced cupcakes into a cab… then skate whist holding trays of cupcakes in semi darkness surrounded by paying guests. Easy! We love a bit of DIY, so we got our scissors, glue, cardboard, ribbon, and jumble sale leopard print fabric, spread it all over the floor, chose some making-stuff music, and set about getting our burlesque on, Blue Peter style. In no time at all, the glue was dry, our eyes luckily weren’t glued shut, and we were ready to go.


It turned out that cupcakes aren’t in high demand right after the indulgence of xmas, and they’re even less appealing to people wearing corsets. Damnit, we thought cupcakes were never wrong! Our world was turned upside down. So the beautiful people didn’t want our cupcakes, fine; but how could they resist our roller derby? Armed with our flyers, we cast our eyes over the crowd in search of new recruits. Once they’d had done a little drinking everyone got more inclined to ask us questions, and we found ourselves talking to some ideal new rollergirls. They were intrigued; what better new year’s resolution to make than to kick some ass?



If you’re out there, flyer recipients, you know what to do. If you’re that girl who invited us to stick the flyer in your mouth on the dance floor, we mean you too. We did get some glitter in our bearings, had a few near misses involving stray feathers and beverages on the skating surfaces, and all our green stuff looked a bit brown under the red lights, but we had a superb night. Everyone looked fabulous, and the DJ played The Walkin Blues by the Jesse Powell Orchestra. Happy!


Thank you so much to the Salon Rouge team for having us, and for inviting us back. What will we make for next time? You’ll have to wait and see. Thanks to Andrew Stubbs for the ace photographs, and to everyone, happy new year from the Rollerbillies!

LRG wore our panties

12 11 2008

What’s the best way to show your newbie skaters and refs what roller derby is all about? Seeing a real live bout is sure to fire them up and show them how the game works, but bouts don’t come along every weekend (yet) so when LRG offered to join us for training, we knew this would be a great opportunity for everyone to see how things should be done. We were lucky enough to have Kitty Decapitate, Sky Rockit, Kamikaze Kitten, Sinister Mary Clarence, Lola Volcano, and Star Spangled Bandit along for a three hour session – after which they went back to London to go training again. Hardcore.


Every time we’ve had the chance to skate with other leagues, we’ve learned so much. Having more skaters at training gives us the chance to scrimmage (with our hot new panties), get feedback on what we’ve been up to, and learn new drills. Having guest skaters along – plus all the admiring extra people who turned up –  packed out our venue, which was awesome. George Danezis, who photographed us skating at the Mill Road Social Centre (see Squat Skating posts below from over the summer), came along and took these pictures for us. We like how he makes it look like we’re going at warp speed.


Rollerbilly love to Kitty, Sky, Kami, Lola, Sin and Spangie – our derby brains are lots bigger now thanks to you, and we had a great time. Our newbie Rollerbillies bravely threw themselves in at the deep end and did us proud, and all our skaters and refs are fired up to train – and really looking forward to the next LRG bout. Much derby love also to George for the photos, and to Carmela for writing us up on her blog.


If you want to watch some awesome roller derby, you should get tickets for LRG’s next bout – Christmas Quarrel: Steam Rollers vs. Suffrajets – on December 6th. Tickets are on sale at See you there!

Skating cancelled due to corporate brutality

2 08 2008

Yesterday evening Tesco were denied their planning application – again – by the City Council. This morning, in what can only be described as a fit of petulance, they sent in the heavies and evicted the residents of the Mill Road Social Centre.

On the evening of the planning meeting the folks at the MRSC held another ace night of entertainment, with tango and a string sextet, before making their presence felt at the meeting.

The people in our neighbourhood built and sustained a self-organising community centre that stood for freedom, activism, creativity (and roller derby) in our community. Tesco obviously don’t like what we like. If they can’t profit from it, they’d rather have the property boarded up than see it used so positively.

With love and thanks to all those who made the Mill Road Social Centre the amazing place that it has been. Skating on Mill Road has been awesome. But above all…

Tesco vs Squat Skating

13 06 2008

Yesterday our friends at the Mill Road Social Centre were in court contesting the possession order from Tesco, who own the lease on the premises. Despite being awarded said possession order, significant planning restrictions mean Tesco cannot open a store on the site and were forced to concede in court that they have “no use for the premises” at the present time. Fortunately for Mill Road residents the MRSC have plenty of uses for the premises – including ROLLER DERBY. So we’re training until Tesco bring the heavies in – every little helps.