To Hell and back…

11 11 2009

So the other thing that happened on the weekend of October 17th was Grange Hell. Two days in Birmingham with Bonnie D Stroir (the one who makes difficult things look easy on youtube) and Estro Jen (the one in the booty shorts) and a vast amount of rollergirls, orchestrated by Central City. Yay! What could possibly go wrong there?

We split into two groups, with some of our team in each, ready to do what the big girls told us and soak up the learning. Bonnie and Estro’s coaching was ace, and it was all going well until Voodoo Doily fell during a transition drill.

After being out for a few months with a fat pad injury, Voodoo missed out on playing for Team East Angrier at Roll Britannia; she did an awe inspiring job as our lineup manager, but we were now two weeks from our game against Glasgow, and she was on our roster. So we were praying for something a bit of rest would fix, maybe a bruise, something that would get better in time for her to play her first game.

gas and air

We waited for her to get to her feet, and when she didn’t we gathered round and started freaking her out with our crumply worried faces. The medics arrived, we started to get a bit teary, things weren’t looking up. It was time to remove the skate and knee pad.

What occurred next was quite harrowing, and may well put off any potential new recruits who happen to be reading our blog. Let’s just say Voodoo has an impressive scream. There was gas and air, there was hand crushing squeezing, there was morphine, and then they wheeled our beloved Voodoo away on a little cart with her leg all safely strapped up in one of those orange inflatable devices.


not so lovelyWe thought it was bad going to new cities and only seeing their sports halls, but what’s worse is seeing their sports halls and their hospitals.

Some of us were hardcore and went back for scrimmage action on sunday, but the rest of us were a bit traumatised and went on a mission to buy Voodoo colouring books.

So this is roller derby. You spend hours travelling to sports halls in other towns, in cars, and on trains. You kiss your weekends goodbye. You wear ridiculous outfits. You find yourself sitting in a hospital car park with some of the best friends you’ve ever had, but one of them is inside the hospital because she got snapped like a twig. And all because you can’t stop skating around in circles.

You can see how people might find it strange. And when they ask “so what is this derby wife thing all about?” we usually say, “oh, your derby wife is your buddy on the track, the one who encourages you to push yourself, the one who looks after you when you get too drunk – and if you get injured, she’s the one who goes with you in the ambulance” and then they laugh nervously like they hope we might be joking about the last part. But it’s true. She’s also the one who gets to stay behind when you’re injured in another city and everyone else has to go home. We’re really glad that Voodoo has Angela Momentum as her excellent wife, and very grateful to all the other skaters who came to visit her in the hospital later, and who contributed to the collection Central City very kindly organised.

We were hoping they’d release Voodoo from hospital in time for her to come with us to Glasgow. We were thinking we might wheel her around the track in a wheelchair on our skate out, but it was not to be. She had an operation to pin her bones, the prognosis looks good, and she says she’s determined to get back on her skates, but she’s staying with family and still getting mobility treatment as an outpatient in Birmingham.

We held another collection (see informative doily below) at our Day of the Dead fund raiser last weekend, and we hope we’ll get her back soon. Voodoo says she wants the doily set in carbonite so that when she dies it can be combined with her leg pin into ‘some sort of sick trophy and bequeathed to CCR’.


Thank you to CCR for organising such a superb event, and for all your support during this traumatic episode. Unfortunately, Voodoo isn’t the only Rollerbilly to sustain damage recently, so to honour our constantly falling comrades and to lighten the tone, here is an INJURY QUIZ!

Questions 1, 2, 3: Whose asses are these?


Question 4: Whose leg is this? Question 5: who destroyed this helmet? Question 6: What the f*ck is this?

injuries quiz




5 responses

11 11 2009
Violet Hunter

This made me want to cry all over again. Poor ole Voodoo. I want her to come hooooooomee… cry cry cry forever.

I also feel like a bad rollerbilly because I don’t know who’s asses they are. 😛 Although I know what number 6 is… ahahaha…

12 11 2009
Germaine Leer

aw that made me well up reading about the wives.

Injury is a rare but sometimes unavoidable part of it……So glad to hear she is doing well…those lungs were certainly impressive the poor lamb


12 11 2009

Is 4 Stubbsy?? And did Emma break the helmet?
Aw, this made me all sad reading it….no idea about the identity of the asses though….

12 11 2009
emma hit cha

6 is carnage butt from me hitting him, and #3 is tara bitch down

14 11 2009

yay shes home tommorow!

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